Overheard mobile pronouncements are a modern phenomenon. In the street, in the park, in supermarkets, buses, waiting rooms and even, heaven help us, in libraries, it’s quite impossible to get away from these tasty or repellent fragments of other people’s private lives.

Wherever you lurk, their outbursts of despair or irritation ring out: mega-tantrums, in-jokes, celebrity spottings, instant post-mortems, office politics, whoops of joy and anger, weather reports, devilishly dull domestic details, parental problems, health issues, holiday plans, money matters, dinner menus, ultimatums, gossip, sporting news, amorous overtures, business deals – and any number of time-wasting pleasantries.

From the stunningly mundane to the shockingly direct, the sublime to the ridiculous, here is a brilliantly curated collection of overheard mobile conversational gems.