This highly original book explores two aspects of the nature of the apparently socially essential 'glue' of love. The first theme concerns the sources of our ideas about love: where the concept originated and, most importantly, what its relationship has been to morality and moral systems. The second theme is our determination to find love: whatever the social and personal costs, the desire for identification with another person drives us to impossible expectations and occasionally damaging alternatives.

In a compelling critique, this book rejects the high romantic version of love as well as what could be described as a contractual version of love. In their place, it describes a love that depends upon reasoned care and commitment and argues that we should abandon love in its romanticized and commercialized form.